Spending Time with Yourself

Posted by Lilia Zaragoza on

Whether you are single, married, or in a relationship, finding time for yourself can be a huge challenge.  For some it can feel awkward; for me it was more awkward than challenging because I feared looking like a loner to others. Now that I say this out loud, I realize how dumb it sounds to care more about what others think than doing things for yourself.  You see, for me, fear of being lonely and criticized overpowered my desire to do things alone that I usually do with others. I just couldn’t see myself doing those things no matter how hard I pushed myself.

One Saturday morning while my husband went on his usual Saturday morning basketball excursion, I decided to take myself out on a date.  I visited our neighboring beverage shop to enjoy some breakfast and coffee.  Instead of taking it back home, for the first time I sat on a table in the middle of the coffee shop. I am not going to lie to you, I considered sitting in the corner where the chances of being seen alone weren’t so high. 


I paid attention to the surroundings and enjoyed the sounds of people’s conversational voices, the sweet aroma of coffee, and the homely vibe of the place.  To be honest, I felt nervous sitting there, but at the same time forcing myself to stay put and enjoy the moment made me feel empowered.  No one was looking at me weird and I was enjoying my alone time.  It was a chance to reboot my brain and unwind.

At that moment, I began the process of self-awareness.  I began setting time for myself and “having dates with myself”.  It was a little nerve wrecking at first, but it has helped me to learn what foods drive me, what places excite me or calm me, what makes me happy. These are things I had trouble with in the past; deciding what I liked and wanted to do. This stems from a lack of confidence – we’ll cover the route of that lack of confidence in a future blog. 


I highly encourage you to spend time with you so you can learn more about you! As they say, knowledge is power. Having a healthier mindset not only benefits you, but also everyone else around you. So don’t feel guilty for taking time away from your family, kids, or friends to spend time with yourself. They can benefit too because you are a happier and more complete person to be around.  It also combats feeling burnt out.   


Don’t be surprised if the people around you become resistant because they were always used to having the old you around. I don’t think in most cases it’s nefarious denial, I reason to believe that we are all resistant to various changes. Just reassure them you are still there, but in order for them to have you in the long haul, you need to take time to care for yourself. And do it! They will become accustomed to you spending time with yourself and your new vibration. It will ultimately be a win win.

Until next time...

Feel Good. Look Good. Be Good.

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